[FM] 39 - Jealousy
Sep. 21st, 2006 01:10 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
domineeringJealousy is just a word to her. Something that is breathed between low whispers as she walks down the halls of the agency. She knows what they all think, that her husband Michael Vaughn is in love with another woman. It's a cold hard truth that she's known since the day on that catwalk. The gun to Sydney's head and Julian expressing the question that she never wanted to know the answer to.
"If you love her..."
It was such a simple question, and perhaps if he had known that she was standing beside him, still she shakes that thought away because she realizes that exposing herself in that moment would cost her more than the lies she had been telling him, it would cost her everything. Jealousy isn't something she can afford in times like these, despite how much it pierces through her defenses.
It's like a scapel precise in it's method of cutting her down. A cold blade slipping across skin and exposing the muscle and bone to the elements expecting infection to set in. It's out there waiting to do it's damage, and she knows that maybe the jealousy isn't what will kill her, but the waiting for it all to come to the light.
Jealousy is still just a word, now reflected in the eyes of one younger than she was when she found him. The history, the past that Lauren might have shared with him is somewhat of a clouded mystery that Rachel is trying to uncover. Rachel probably thinks about it more times than not, wondering how many times, and in which cities.
Lauren could advise her that it's not healthy to dwell on things that we cannot alter, but Lauren knows that Jealousy is an emotion that cannot be argued with. It is simply just something that exists purely to drive your heart to love someone more, if only to just prove that you aren't jealous at all.
"If you love her..."
It was such a simple question, and perhaps if he had known that she was standing beside him, still she shakes that thought away because she realizes that exposing herself in that moment would cost her more than the lies she had been telling him, it would cost her everything. Jealousy isn't something she can afford in times like these, despite how much it pierces through her defenses.
It's like a scapel precise in it's method of cutting her down. A cold blade slipping across skin and exposing the muscle and bone to the elements expecting infection to set in. It's out there waiting to do it's damage, and she knows that maybe the jealousy isn't what will kill her, but the waiting for it all to come to the light.
Jealousy is still just a word, now reflected in the eyes of one younger than she was when she found him. The history, the past that Lauren might have shared with him is somewhat of a clouded mystery that Rachel is trying to uncover. Rachel probably thinks about it more times than not, wondering how many times, and in which cities.
Lauren could advise her that it's not healthy to dwell on things that we cannot alter, but Lauren knows that Jealousy is an emotion that cannot be argued with. It is simply just something that exists purely to drive your heart to love someone more, if only to just prove that you aren't jealous at all.
